Dipping my toe in...

After a gentle persuasion from a dear friend, I am trying this out. Everyone has a blog these days, right? I have recently discovered that I never just let it all out... and apparently, I have a lot to say. When I let down the walls and let the words come - boy, does that feel great. But where do I start? I can talk about anything - anything! - but what really gets me going is something that gets under my skin.

And that, as those who know me best will know, is religion.

Raised Catholic, I followed in my older brother's footsteps on many paths. On the road of religion, I learned from him but later taught myself about the inequality and unfairness of religion in America today. For a country that was founded on escaping from religious zealots, we've sure produced a lot of them lately.

So many innocent people are blinded by the promise of that white light at the end of the tunnel: Heaven.

I can understand wanting to have some kind of faith, when I look around the world today, but I just can't buy it. I can't buy that Mary didn't actually have sex with someone in order to conceive His Only Begotten Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. I can't buy that Jesus came back to life, although I do believe he had a lot of followers, probably because he was probably a pretty cool guy, considering. I can't buy that God sent down a fax to Moses on top of that mountain telling him, and only him, all the rules of the world.

I have so much respect for those who have faith in this stuff, as long as they equally respect me for not believing it. I have a friend named Kelly, whose mind is even dirtier and more curious than mine, who loves Jesus. She just loves Jesus and God. She's happy with that. She's totally cool with me not loving Jesus, and doesn't slap me in the face with the stuff all the time. Because of that, we've had some really interesting conversations about faith.

My oldest friend is a guy named Eric. Eric and I have completely different political views and religious views, yet we love each other just the same. We have some of the best conversations about politics and religion (but isn't that just redundant?) because we respect each other and don't shove our own views down any throats.

On the other hand, I've been bombarded with emails and advertisements and presidents of the United States of America telling me that I am a Christian, because that is the American Way. Sometimes I consider my atheism a skeleton in my closet, because I never know who is listening and judging my religion. In a time like this, atheism, of all things, is considered taboo.

In my quest for freedom from religion, I fear that I've become condescending and biased. While fighting religious oppression, I find myself defensive and sarcastic. I want to be respectfully skeptical, but I live in a world where I STILL hear about Barack Obama being a Muslim (not that there's anything wrong with that!). I live in a county that voted for George Bush. Twice.

I want to remain dignified and curious, without apathy or contempt. I want to love those around me and have them love me, no matter which God we believe in. I live for the day when church and state will indeed be separate.